Sunday, May 1, 2011

Quietness


There was a time when I used to spend lonely weekends at home, solely without friends and largely without family. I used to be home alone with my legs crossed over a table, leaning on a chair, smoking; occasionally getting up to go to the kitchen in search of some cheese and coffee. At other times walking around in an empty apartment with a long forgotten book of poems in my hand, sometimes reading out loud as if to an expected audience. As noon came, I ate lonely meals trailed by a warm bath with green and blue hand-felted soap. And when I used to dry my hair and scent my body I always felt heavy for by then I was full of you.

Any Color You Like


After being colored for twenty years I have realised that it can never be too late to talk colors.
Red for a walk, a kiss and a rally by the old brick lane
Yellow for the garden that meets me when I look out of your pane.
Green for a small bullet in a box that travelled the world and cried myriad tears
Pink for all the moans you let out when I used to bite your ears
Purple for the letters we wrote to each other and kept in shoeboxes for five years.
Brown for the leaves that touched my lips,
Formed a cloud over my head and rushed out of my room with a point of no return
Orange for the rubber I used to suck in bed and eventually churn.
Blue for the place that taught me to love, a place where I met my dame.
And Black for whiskey in dark rooms and the dearth of an aim.

Tonight I Can Write


Tonight I am Jay Blue.
Tonight I smell of glue.

Tonight for you I am penning clues.
Tonight I shall paint more shoes.

Tonight I am like a fever.
Hence, tonight ourCup is over.

...................................

Tonight is never like before
Tonight is easy come easy go.

Tonight I am a lonely few
Tonight I don’t love you.

Tonight I am an open door
Hence, tonight I am a blessed whore.

.....................................

Tonight I am not sane
Tonight I know pain.

Tonight I want more
Tonight I fail like never before.

Tonight I am your yellow kite
Hence, tonight I can write.

Unvanquished Cold Turkey


And now and then eager lips
Give way to trips;
But then again a composed mind
Tries to bind.

Calcutta In Technicolor


Calcutta, I won’t lie is beautiful. It was drizzling in the afternoon when I sat on the greens of University. The wind troubled the trees and they shed bright yellow flowers on me: a few fell on my head, a few on my lap and a few elsewhere. Later, a walk tricked me to chance upon my heaped set of amours in a span of two years. They are all unforgettable in their own ways. The evening was spent at Barista, Southern Avenue listening to old time favourites from Nirvana while munching on chicken sandwiches and flirting with mango mousse. The lake called me thereafter-the trees, the sidewalks, the poor old women, the not-so-old women, the hijdas, the benches, those kids who ask for money, the boats, the sea-pirate-coffee-seller and his portable radio, memories from fresh February days, memories of bonding over a cheap yellow packet of filter-less cigarettes called me back. Cobain’s voice from Barista’s play list lingered and merged with the whispers of the water. They asked me to Come As I Am. Lime and Cola Slush at Fillers followed. I had the usual Classic company sitting high on a bare sill. Young beggar boys came to say hello. I talked to them. They lingered for a while after which each of the four took turns to do street b-boying for me. The entertainment was surprising and quite coming of age. There was an absolute absence of those carefully chosen Hindi/Bengali songs sung in distinct nasal ways. After having my fill, a bus ride through Golpark, Gariahat and elsewhere tickled the sense of intense longing for the only place I have known inside out in twenty years, not that I was given a choice to discover and love any other. But Calcutta (if any of you have known it the way I do) is so sharp that it cuts you and so deep that it drowns you.